Hey man sorry I got all grabby
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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