11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
there is puke in my bra ... again
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