i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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