do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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