Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im just a social blackout drinker.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
