don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just cropdusted the office
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
