it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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