just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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