Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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