Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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