Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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