Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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