Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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