she smelled like a LAN party
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
