cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
