you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
