how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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