Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
