South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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