literally had 100 drinks last night.
My hand turned me down
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize