I just pynch a tree in the face
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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