I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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