im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
