So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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