i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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