There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
