I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
