I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
