Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
