38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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