whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
