Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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