That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
