WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
