I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
operation harelip BJ is a go
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
