How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you win again, gameday.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
