i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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