He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize