Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
