just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
