Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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