Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
