i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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