he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
