He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
