Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Panties = found
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
