So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
