He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
