Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
