New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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