I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
