Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
