There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Mom said you looked used
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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