I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
