dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
