apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
