OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
