You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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